Fun and Games. Chapter 1: Ice, Ice, Baby

Chapter 1: Ice, Ice. . . . . . baby.

Its called "Icing".

A practical joke game that was birthed at a major University in Virginia several months ago, probably in some frat guy's living room.

In a nutshell, Icing is where you and your crew (usually friends or coworkers) are members of an exclusive game where everyone involved is constantly trying to trick one another into peeping at bottles of Smirnoff Ice (below is a sidebar explaining what Smirnoff Ice is exactly, for those who are unfamiliar).

Smirnoff Ice: It’s a horrendous, vile alcoholic "

drink" that can be purchased virtually anywhere in the world for some reason. I don't know who decided that was a good idea... At any rate, SI is targeted specifically at young party-going ladies that don't particularly enjoy the taste of beer, a

nd can't afford mixed drinks. The game goes that if you can make one of your friends look directly at a full SI bottle, they MUST then take a knee right then and there, regardless of where "there" is, and chug the whole thing at once. We'll call the victim the Icee, and the perpetrator the Icer. The Icee can not stand until he or she has finished the bottle entirely. While the Icee is planted in Ice position chugging the vile drink, the Icer is expected to be laughing mercilessly, cracking jokes at the Icee's expense

and getting as much footage as possible.

The beauty of this game, besides making your friend drink this disgustingly sweet, aspartame-chucked sewage is the setup of the prank. The more elaborate the set up the better in my opinion, but a quick icing can be fun everyone now and then to keep your friends and co-workers in check.

The history of Icing doesn't go back further than 7-8 months, about as long as I've been gone. I hadn't heard of it until Alexis, one of the new teachers in my program told me about it a few weeks back. I LOVE the idea of this game so much that I have incorporated it in my daily life here in Thawangpha. In the past month I've "Iced" 5 of my friends on non-consecutive occasions, and look forward to icing more. Smirnoff Ice can be purchased at most 7-11s here in Thailand. Thanks multi-national corporations.

Here's a few of my victims:

Matt, 31 years old, 6'7" tall. A teacher at Pua School, the next town over.

Jesse, 25. English teacher at my school (Thawangphapittayakhom School). Teaches 7th, 8th, and 12th grade.

Dave, 23. English teacher at my school (Thawangphapittayakhom School). Teaches 9th and 11th grade.

Stay tuned for Chapter 2 in my August Fun and Games segment, where I'll introduce the greatest outdoor game, Period. Its called Shaboozle. Intrigued yet?

Deuces.

The Night Where Closing Time Became a Nan-Issue

The World Cup match I'll never forget.

Back in the United States, I would have never, under any circumstances willingly walked up to a police station, smelling of beer, at 3 o'clock in the morning, and ask an officer in uniform if I could join the force in watching a soccer match.

Last weekend that's exactly what I did. That's how the story ended. But why?

The time difference between South Africa and Thailand is 5 hours, Thailand being five hours ahead of South Africa. So when the 8:00pm USA vs. England soccer match started in Johannesburg, it really started at 1:00am in Thailand. I thought that since this was the most anticipated match of the weekend for most soccer fans, that a sports bar or two would be showing the match in its entirety. This would be asking a lot in my farm town of 8 or so thousand which doesn't have any bars, let alone a sports bar that would stay open 'til 3am. Surely though Nan, the province capital, most populous city, economic center, and a city touted for hosting the best (and only) night life within a 200km radius would show the game.

The night was filled with 3 matches, the first of which started at 8:30pm. This match was South Korea vs. Greece. My mates and I were in good spirits when we found a 'metal bar' that was televising the night's matches. The bar was dark, musty, furnished in wood, included a massive stage at the front-center, had several televisions with the game on, and was highly decorated with Che Guevara and Soviet Union memorabilia. Albeit not the sports bar we were looking for, but the beer was cold and the live music drowned out those annoying horns that the fans continuously abuse all throughout the match. The Thai "lock n' loll" cover band started playing midway through the second match (Argentina vs. Nigeria) and continued playing practically until closing time. Their best song of the night was Hotel California which was played during the lucky US goal late in the first half. A good omen.

The night came to a close when a Clapton song ended and everyone in the bar cleared out... excluding my table of Americans of course. Selfish Americans overstaying their welcome. How TYPICAL! To set the scene, the time was then 2:53am and everyone but me, my friends, and the waitstaff had left for the night. It was only half time in a neck and neck 1-1 game. We were looking forward to a 2nd half, but the staff wasn't havin it.

In a very Thai way of dealing with conflict, the bar staff never told us to leave or gave any kind of verbal suggestions that we should be on our way. That would be too forward. Thai people aren't like that. Instead, they turned off ALL of the overhead lights. My table sighs in unison. Our hopes to see a televised match that we had looked forward to all week were being crushed by a passive-aggressive, and probably pretty sleepy bartender.

Forget going to another bar. We were traveling by foot and bicycle. Where would we go? By the time we found a new Bar, IF we found a new bar, the game would be practically over.

My posse and I started to make the trek back to our respective sleeping quarters when we saw flickering lights in a window off in the distance. As we got closer we saw what looked like a Police Station. That night my posse consisted of:

• 3 American girls, elementary school teachers; time in Thailand 1 week
  
• 2 American guys, junior high and high school teachers; time in Thailand 1 month
• Me; time in Thailand 7 and a half months

If we were going to watch the 2nd half of the USA vs. England match with the cops, someone would have to ask them first. With the most experience speaking Thai, it was up to me to ask the policemen if I, and my group of 5 friends could join them in watching the remainder of the match in their station. The Thai cops were nothing short of hospitable.

In the States I would have likely been cited for being drunk in public or maybe even tazed for talking to a cop at 3am with alcohol on my breath. That weekend however, I was greeted warmly with 6 comfortable chairs in front of the television. We friends talked soccer with the officers, enjoyed an exciting 2nd half, and at the game's end we Wai'ed (bowed to) the police and said our good-byes. On our way out as we were all putting our shoes on, one officer even said "Have a good night, see you again tomorrow!!!"

In my time here I've found Thai cops to be nothing but friendly, helpful, and approachable. It seems that they are truly there to protect and serve. At no point during that night was I nervous about being in a police station. I dare any of you back home to knock on a police station at 3am after a few brewski's and let me know how everything pans out. You might just get tazed.

Back at it

Back in the Saddle Again...
Angels aren't they?

Note the kid in the center of the frame giving me the double bird.

More of the double bird...

And this kid felt the urge to pummel on his friend during class.

In my last blog I believe I was talking about the joys of Song Kran, and the school year on the horizon. I still feel that Song Kran is bar none the coolest holiday worldwide. As far as teaching goes, I'm a month into the new quarter teaching some familiar faces and some new ones as well. I'm teaching 300 of my old students that are now 10th graders, and 300 new students that are now 8th graders.

Teaching to 8th graders is not unlike herding cats, or trying to domesticate wild dogs that have lived in the wild for their whole lives. What these groups all have in common is that they're highly allergic to demands of any kind. I'll tell a student to sit, and he'll sit. I'll thank him, and everything will be sunshine and lollipops-until I turn my back on him. Then he's back to running around hitting kids with a bamboo stick (teacher's pointer). I have reason to believe 90% of the kids in my lowest levels (lowest proficiency) have ADD and are incapable of paying attention for more than 5 seconds. My colleagues tell me that the observations I've made about 8th graders is not a problem unique to foreign teachers, but rather a problem for anyone that walks in front of the class with the intention of teaching. Luckily the other 85% of my classes are great. Its the start of the quarter so everyone else (ADD 8th graders being the exception) comes to my class on time, and fully prepared to learn. Life is good.

Over the past month I've done a bit of traveling. Highlights have to include:

- An empty schedule, lounging in a hammock on the beaches of Ko Tao. Ooooh, aaaaah.

- Weaving through the mountains of Northern Thailand on a sweet hog. I want your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.

- Meeting new teachers to travel with. Left to Right: Dave the new teacher at my school, Girl Jessie, Boy Jesse, Kelly, Me, Alexis, and Ally. (The girls shown here are all teaching in Chiang Rai, a town 4 hours north of my village.)

At this stage I'd like to give a shout out to Jamie. Keep kickin ass and takin names, I love you and I'm always thinking about you. Hang in there cuz.

Did I mention that its starting to rain here?